In a stunning display of legislative theatrics, politicians across the nation have banded together to introduce the “Politicians’ Powderpuff Feelings Act,” a bill aimed at protecting delicate egos from the scourge of critical comments and dissenting opinions.

Dubbed by critics as the “Thin-Skinned Politicians Protection Act,” this groundbreaking legislation seeks to criminalize anything deemed remotely offensive to our beloved leaders’ sensibilities. From harmless jokes to scathing satire, no slight is too trivial for our esteemed lawmakers to prosecute.

In a press conference reminiscent of a kindergarten tantrum, politicians tearfully recounted the harrowing tales of having their feelings bruised by mean tweets and sarcastic memes. “We simply cannot allow such verbal abuse to go unchecked,” declared one visibly distressed Liberal, clutching a tissue to dab at his moistened eyes.

The proposed law outlines a comprehensive framework for identifying and penalizing offenders, including mandatory sensitivity training and a “time-out” corner for repeat offenders. Moreover, a special task force will be established to monitor social media platforms for any signs of dissent, ensuring swift and decisive action against those who dare challenge the status quo.

But critics warn that this Orwellian nightmare is nothing more than a thinly veiled attempt to stifle free speech and dissent. “It’s like a bad episode of ‘The Twilight Zone’ where the snowflakes have taken over,” quipped one outspoken activist, struggling to contain her laughter.

Indeed, the specter of fear-mongering looms large as politicians warn of the dire consequences of unchecked criticism. “If we allow people to express their opinions freely, what’s next? Democracy?” mused one particularly paranoid senator, clutching his pearls in horror.

As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: the Politicians’ Powderpuff Feelings Act is a testament to the absurdity of modern politics, where fragile egos and inflated self-importance reign supreme. But amidst the chaos and confusion, one can’t help but chuckle at the sheer audacity of it all.

So, dear citizens, let us raise our voices in protest against this ludicrous proposal and defend our right to speak truth to power. For in the end, laughter is the greatest weapon against tyranny, and nothing is more laughable than a politician with hurt feelings.